Hein (fub) wrote,
Hein
fub

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Matrix: Revolutions

Sunday, we went to see Matrix: Revolutions. I went in expecting something like a recent Star Wars movie: lots of eye candy, lots of action. You don't watch movies like that for the characterisation, the dialogues and the acting. You don't even watch it for the plot, because the plot will have holes in it that are large enough to drive a truck through.

And I actually liked Matrix: Reloaded. It introduced some nifty concepts, even though it ripped more holes into the plot. I had hoped that Revolutions would clear these up and come with a satisfactory conclusion.

Boy, was I dissapointed.

The first half of the movie is boring and slow-moving. Nothing of importance happens. And then in the second half, all hell breaks loose, but by then I just don't care about the characters anymore. Neo's messiah-complex is boring, as is Trinity's slavish devotion to him. The Oracle is confused (what use is a confused Oracle?). Only the Merovingian is his usual scheming self, which I liked.

And then the machines attack Zion. Why do the humans rely on computerised weapons against the machines? Why not use mechanical belt-fed machineguns and just EMP the hell out of any Sentinel that dares to get close? No, let's just make a grand last stand instead! You do that buddy, I'll just take a ship and get the hell away from Zion.

And then the incessant pseudo-philosophy. Gah! If I wanted to know about the philosophy of choices and all that, I would read a book by someone who has spent more than half an hour thinking about how to make the movie 'intellectual'. Guys, Paul Sartre said it all before and much, much, MUCH better than you twerps ever could.

And then Neo reaches Machine City, as if by magic! No wait, he does reach it by magic, because our esteemed directors couldn't think of any other way to have this happen. And there he makes a deal with a machine (does that swirly-thing-head has any authority over the rest of the machines? Apparently, because it's so damn convenient. We wouldn't want to spend any time explaining how the society of the machines work, we prefer to fill it in with crappy philosophy instead!) and is plugged in again. How convenient that a plug that is designed to be used by a human can be found all over Machine City! They must have had thousands of tourists back in the day!

And then there's the big fight with Agent Smith. I was almost cheering for Smith: just kill the bastard and get it over with! The fight itself was even boring as well. And then, FINALLY, Neo dies. We get some Christian vibe (a cross made of white light and all that), and then, thankfully, the torment ends.

The only good things about this movie is the acting of Ian Bliss, who can emulate the manners of Smith to perfection, and the mechanical designs. Rent this movie and fast-forward to the attack on Zion. Don't bother wasting two hours of your life watching the whole of the movie.

God, I feel cheated. I want those two hours of my life back.
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  • Sinterklaas & rhymes

    On a whim, I had bought chocolate capitals for the two colleagues who are in my project, plus for the key people at the client. I wrote Sinterklaas…

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